Let It Go September 7, 2014
I grieve as I write this even though I have so many positive things to say. I grieve for the time I was a “Stay at home Mom” even when I was a student, even when I worked part-time, even when I cared for children in my home, I was still with my children most of each day. Now they are with teachers in middle school, kindergarten and a toddler room. I grieve for the idea of homeschooling them until college. I grieve that I was not able to give them the structure and stimulation I wanted to.
I was 100 percent anti-school. I still have some serious issues with the way public school compartmentalizes learning and I struggle with not knowing well the people who influence my children 40 hours a week. So why are my kids in school?
God has a plan. I don’t know anything other than that. But He has taught me, is showing me, that is perfectly alright. I could write a book about how He has grown me in the letting go of control area. This is but one way I am learning, but I am oh so glad I am learning.
Even as my heart breaks in the Letting Go, it is also filled with expectant hope for the plans the Lord has for me and my family. It reminds me what I try to teach my children about our human emotions. You can be happy and sad about something at the same time and that’s ok.
This is a new season of our life and as long as I keep putting my trust in Jesus, I know He will lead us where He has for us and that is the only place to be!
Song May 18, 2013
A song can literally change my entire mindset. Maybe not everyone is like this. I am so thankful I am. God uses the songs on my favorite radio station many times each day to speak truth and hope into my heart. I have the radio on non- stop. On the rare day I forget to have it on, my day quickly goes downhill as my negative thoughts are allowed to spiral out of control. Seriously, it is like breathing again to turn it on and feel connected to God and others seeking to live for Him. I know for sure I am not the only one in the world who feels this way because my dear son, Jack, literally says EVERY song that plays on that stations is his FAVORITE. I am not kidding…he says “turn it up, this is my favorite song!” many, many times a day. When we are driving he always asks me if we can finish the song whenever we arrive at our destination. Honestly, sometimes this gets annoying, sometimes it just seems so normal to me I don’t stop and let it sink in. When I do stop and think about it I realize God is just as much at work in my sweet boy’s heart. How amazing is that!? So thankful for the wonderful reminder of a daily blessing in our lives J